Certain things in life define us...for me it was the absence of my father from my life. Then I grew up...became a filmmaker (well not that I am making films now...but I would like to think that I am still one- at least let's just roll with it) So in film school one of my teachers said, all directors have one chocolate- this one story- they just keep wrapping it in different wrappers....and initially it didn't make sense. But on further dwelling I figured it was not that far from the truth. And then I realized my chocolate. Search for a father... I realized in all my stories it's a father-daughter or father-son bond that I dissect. And it was not a shocker. It kind of made me happy in a twisted way. I could give my characters all the happy ending that I wanted but couldn't get or maybe wasn't brave enough to dare. Well...
So, coming back to why I am writing this...
Well, now I am a film school pass out and doing random freelancing and not making films but as they say once a filmmaker always one....so all my stories are locked up in my head. With their characters and dialogues and scenes. When I get frustrated and sad I visit them....play with them. They make me survive because I need to make them. All the daughters in search of their father needs to get home.
Another teacher of mine once said, "It's not that important that you chose to tell a story but have you ever wondered why this particular story chose you...it's your responsibility now to tell it - otherwise this story will never be known." Somehow I took this to heart and from then on I feel responsible for these stories...these characters...their journeys...
Anyways, I keep diverting from the point it seems....but stay with me I am getting there...
The thing with me is that whenever I think of a story I visualize....so the characters need to be given faces...and I gave faces to them...waiting to be captured someday in my frames...
And two of the faces just vanished...Irfan Khan and Rishi Kapoor..... I know I never knew them and its stupid of me probably to even imagine they would be there in my film and probably it's not supposed to be a personal loss but it is.... because two of the fathers died...and two of those daughters won't get to meet them, and they won't get home anymore....and that's the part.....why it feels like I lost someone so close...
When eventually my father died...my life went through a lot of drama but I barely knew him...but for these two I feel like I know them... I feel like I have lived with them for so long...and this feels like losing someone in my family!! But I don't know how to explain it to others...and I have no idea how to pay them respect because I am a no one, and they are LEGENDS!
When my father died I refused to do his last rites because I felt that I was not daughter enough for him. But later I didn't regret but I did feel that he did deserve probably a bit more respect. And I Respect these great actors so much that I have been balling my eyes out...but this pair I don't know how to pay respect...so here I am writing because this is the only thing I can do.
And to both of them...
Sirs,
I wrote scripts just for you...and I framed you in my shot a thousand times in my imaginations and you were always perfect in them.... I am a no one but you both gave me a lot. So thank you....
So, coming back to why I am writing this...
Well, now I am a film school pass out and doing random freelancing and not making films but as they say once a filmmaker always one....so all my stories are locked up in my head. With their characters and dialogues and scenes. When I get frustrated and sad I visit them....play with them. They make me survive because I need to make them. All the daughters in search of their father needs to get home.
Another teacher of mine once said, "It's not that important that you chose to tell a story but have you ever wondered why this particular story chose you...it's your responsibility now to tell it - otherwise this story will never be known." Somehow I took this to heart and from then on I feel responsible for these stories...these characters...their journeys...
Anyways, I keep diverting from the point it seems....but stay with me I am getting there...
The thing with me is that whenever I think of a story I visualize....so the characters need to be given faces...and I gave faces to them...waiting to be captured someday in my frames...
And two of the faces just vanished...Irfan Khan and Rishi Kapoor..... I know I never knew them and its stupid of me probably to even imagine they would be there in my film and probably it's not supposed to be a personal loss but it is.... because two of the fathers died...and two of those daughters won't get to meet them, and they won't get home anymore....and that's the part.....why it feels like I lost someone so close...
When eventually my father died...my life went through a lot of drama but I barely knew him...but for these two I feel like I know them... I feel like I have lived with them for so long...and this feels like losing someone in my family!! But I don't know how to explain it to others...and I have no idea how to pay them respect because I am a no one, and they are LEGENDS!
When my father died I refused to do his last rites because I felt that I was not daughter enough for him. But later I didn't regret but I did feel that he did deserve probably a bit more respect. And I Respect these great actors so much that I have been balling my eyes out...but this pair I don't know how to pay respect...so here I am writing because this is the only thing I can do.
And to both of them...
I wrote scripts just for you...and I framed you in my shot a thousand times in my imaginations and you were always perfect in them.... I am a no one but you both gave me a lot. So thank you....
